***** ALERT - Nominations for your new ClubCJ Committee can be made here *****

Burns Calories

Tell Jokes! or Share Funny Media.

Moderators: Moderators, Senior Moderators

User avatar
Shadows
Club Sponsor
Club Sponsor
Posts: 799
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2008 1:24 am
Location: Singapore
Contact:

Burns Calories

Postby Shadows » Thu Feb 05, 2009 6:39 am

"Sex burns calories, but now you can just think that you have to do with a partner, to shed excess weight. The recommendations, however, for some reason, only for men, although mostly for women ... So:

Strip:
with the agreement - 12 calories,
without the consent of - 187.

Unfasten bra:
both hands - 8 calories,
with one hand - 12 calories,
teeth - 85 calories.

Wear a condom:
in the presence of erection - 6 calories
in the absence of erection - 315 calories.

Positions:
missionary - 8 calories,
as dogs - 326 calories
"Italian chandelier - 912 calories.

Orgasm:
This - 112 calories
unreal - 315 calories.

Then:
lie on the seat - 18 calories,
immediately get out of the car - 36 calories,
if you do not immediately get out of the car - 816 calories.

Putting clothes:
calmly - 32 calories,
in a hurry - 98 calories,
when her father knocking on the door - 1218 calories
when your wife knocking at the door - 3521 calories.









Ummm........ Forgot to say ....
With prostitutes does not count!
Image[flash width=600 height=200 loop=false]http://i438.photobucket.com/albums/qq110/X-Factordesign/E-MailBanner.swf[/flash]

User avatar
spunkybob
Lancer MASTER
Lancer MASTER
Posts: 1605
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2008 11:36 am
Location: Kariong, NSW, Australia

Re: Burns Calories

Postby spunkybob » Thu Feb 05, 2009 6:51 am

Shadows wrote: Putting clothes:
calmly - 32 calories,
in a hurry - 98 calories,
when her father knocking on the door - 1218 calories
when your wife knocking at the door - 3521 calories.


LOL!!!!!!
Image
>CLICK HERE to view My 08 Lancer in all its Glory!
"Its STILL happy go fun fun time!"

Spacetingle
Lancer VR/GT
Lancer VR/GT
Posts: 201
Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2008 12:21 am
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Postby Spacetingle » Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:40 am

ROFL shadows.
ImageSpacetingle - Under the Milky Way tonight

User avatar
spunkybob
Lancer MASTER
Lancer MASTER
Posts: 1605
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2008 11:36 am
Location: Kariong, NSW, Australia

Postby spunkybob » Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:56 am

SPACETINGLE MY LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Image

>CLICK HERE to view My 08 Lancer in all its Glory!

"Its STILL happy go fun fun time!"

User avatar
Mizta B
Alumni
Alumni
Posts: 5867
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2008 8:29 am
Location: Mortdale, NSW, Australia

Postby Mizta B » Thu Feb 05, 2009 11:27 am

Shadows your'e a gem
That's priceless mate
Very funny stuff
Cheers man - Chris (mizta_b)
Australasian Gerbil Rearers Organisation, Official Re-Seller.
Image
MY09 Rally Red VRX ClubCJ's 1st 4B12 2.4L - CCJ Lifetime Member #0004.
Merlinised....

User avatar
spunkybob
Lancer MASTER
Lancer MASTER
Posts: 1605
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2008 11:36 am
Location: Kariong, NSW, Australia

Postby spunkybob » Thu Feb 05, 2009 12:28 pm

so... who has ever had the door knocking experience...... :P
Image

>CLICK HERE to view My 08 Lancer in all its Glory!

"Its STILL happy go fun fun time!"

User avatar
Lancerlot
INACTIVE Member Account
Posts: 317
Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 7:03 pm
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Postby Lancerlot » Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:20 pm

spunkybob wrote:so... who has ever had the door knocking experience...... :P


are your ears burnin bobby..?
My Lancer is my Trusty Steed.
Image

User avatar
ZERO COOL
INACTIVE Member Account
Posts: 264
Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2008 1:25 pm
Location: Bronx, NY, USA

Postby ZERO COOL » Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:38 pm

Lmaoo..Thats cool stuff there bro.
Image

User avatar
spunkybob
Lancer MASTER
Lancer MASTER
Posts: 1605
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2008 11:36 am
Location: Kariong, NSW, Australia

Postby spunkybob » Thu Feb 05, 2009 6:49 pm

Lancerlot wrote:
spunkybob wrote:so... who has ever had the door knocking experience...... :P


are your ears burnin bobby..?


lol... just really bored.. and it would be my eyes :)
Image

>CLICK HERE to view My 08 Lancer in all its Glory!

"Its STILL happy go fun fun time!"

User avatar
Shadows
Club Sponsor
Club Sponsor
Posts: 799
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2008 1:24 am
Location: Singapore
Contact:

Postby Shadows » Tue Feb 24, 2009 6:20 am

nick you should read this. :) :)
Image[flash width=600 height=200 loop=false]http://i438.photobucket.com/albums/qq110/X-Factordesign/E-MailBanner.swf[/flash]


Return to “Jokes & Funny Videos”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 17 guests