USA RECESSION
Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 12:16 pm
The recession has hit everybody really hard...
My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't
afford batteries.
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls
of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you
call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learnt their
children’s' names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and
they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island Casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali
Pirates.
And, finally....
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
Savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the
Suicide Hotline.
I got a call-centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they
got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't
afford batteries.
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls
of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you
call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learnt their
children’s' names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and
they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island Casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali
Pirates.
And, finally....
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
Savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the
Suicide Hotline.
I got a call-centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they
got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.